I want to look like her
by Nicole Darabi on Tuesday, September 20th, 2016

You say you want a better body but do you want a better complete package? 

Mind, body and soul are connected.

Picture this:  A woman sits down for her first meeting with her nutritionist or personal trainer to discuss goals and what brought her here in the first place.  90% of the time most of the women will reach for their phone to pull up a photo of someone else who she believe has it all and says, “I want to look like her.”

Now reflect on that statement for a second…”I want to look like her

First, let me be clear; there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself, your overall health, gain strength, lose weight and look to others for inspiration to motivate you.  Herein lies the problem. As a society, we are so focused on what we perceive everyone else has going for them and compare that to everything we don’t. We set ourselves up for failure daily with this mindset.  We are hyper obsessed with emulating other’s lives, bodies, and looks that we’re not being honest with ourselves and our realities. We peruse Instagram in the morning stopping on a photo of  “her” and think “why does she have her shit together and I can’t even figure out what to make my family for dinner every night?” Or, “What’s wrong with me that I can’t get my ass out of bed to workout at 5am looking perfect in my Lululemon gear snapping photos along the way showing how glorious my life is?”  How can “she” make it look so easy?

I’ll tell you why…because it’s all bullshit!  Smoke and mirrors, my friends.

You have no idea what their lives are really like. What you’re seeing is a snippet, a moment in time where yeah, maybe they did have their shit together that morning to capture the “perfect” photo. (Guess how many shots she took to find THE one to publish.  I can tell you it wasn’t the only photo she took.) Maybe you didn’t see the pile of dirty laundry in the corner of the room.  You can’t hear her kid climbing up her leg trying to get her attention or the sheer exhaustion she feels inside trying to keep her chaotic life together all while trying make it look easy. You definitely don’t see that!

Hell, maybe I’m that girl for some of you. I have random women at the gym, clients, and even friends make comments like “Why can’t I have an ass like yours, make me look like you!” I used to be flattered when people made statements like this, but now my heart breaks for them. I want to shake them and say, “you are beautiful just the way you are, why do you want to look like anyone other than the best version of yourself?”  Having been through my own journey to acceptance and self-love over the last decade, I know first hand that it’s not easy. I hated, I mean H-A-T-E-D my ass and legs for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t until just a few years ago that I completely changed my thoughts about my body. Instead of believing my legs were not muscular enough, or that my ass was too jiggly, or being embarrassed that it practically walked in the room before I did, I made a conscious effort to flip those thoughts around. Every morning I say this little mantra to myself. “Your legs are strong, they allow you to run, and jump, and stand all day at work. They are beautiful and powerful and allow you to be mobile each and everyday.”  This is a reminder that EVERYONE needs to put more effort into practicing daily self love.  You cannot begin a new fitness or nutrition plan and focus solely on the changes happening on the exterior.  Dig deep, embrace vulnerability, and work from the inside out. Otherwise when you reach your goal of what you want your exterior to look like, your interior may not sync.  You will still be looking and seeking something else.  Something more.  Something different. It’s not about the destination, I’m here for the journey…to make your whole body healthy…this includes your mind.

The pressure to be perfect is exhausting and draining. The constant comparison causes our own internal suffering.  I believe I have a pretty positive and optimistic outlook on life but it’s still a gritty, uncomfortable, imperfect life. My kitchen is an f’ing disaster by the time I’m done food prepping and I’m complaining and stressed to the core afterward with the mess left behind. (just ask my husband) But you only see the end result which is the perfectly organized meals that look effortless. Life is not effortless! What you focus on expands.  Focus less on HER and more on YOU.

Let go of the negative stories you tell yourself. You are not fat, you butt is not too big, you DO have the will power to make positives changes, and everyone else is not better off than you.

You are enough!

I want all of you to do me a favor.  Please take a few minutes to download this podcast and listen to it at least once this week. Put it on while you workout, or on your way to pick up your kids, or when you’re out running errands.  The phrase “I want to look like her” will slowly start to fade into “I’m determined to be the best version of ME!”

http://www.precisionnutrition.com/i-want-to-be-that-girl

Follow Nicole Darabi on Instagram.

Join The Conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *